Turtles & Toilets

We celebrated our first year of boat ownership with Turtles & Toilets!


A paradox of celebrations right? 


And yet in the end, it turned out these two events were well worth celebrating along with our one-year milestone.


Yet in the swirl of stench and horror, the toilet debacle was indeed a major crisis which involved the ghastly and horrifying realization that said toilet would have to be drained…into a baggie. This almost led to a marriage crisis when one of us got stuck holding the thin see-through, smell-though, plastic bag of waste.


A certain captain aboard, who shall remain nameless—in order to protect the identity of those involved in the marital spat—handed a certain crew member the aforementioned bag in which he intended to drain the contents of the malfunctioning toilet. As you can imagine, by your sudden need to gag while reading this frightening post, holding a bag full of crap was NOT anything that even remotely came to the imagination of this poor crew member when she pictured her retirement days aboard a sailboat in the Mediterranean. 


Despite her protestations, she was a champ and obeyed the captain’s orders.


So there she was, celebrating her first year as first mate by trying not to get covered in crap. Suddenly, an unfortunate case of the giggles overtook the poor girl as she precariously held the bag. Which began to shake it. Which unnerved the anonymous captain.


Some shouting may have ensued and perhaps a brief onslaught of cussing, which resulted in a haphazard splash or two of the bag’s contents.


Ah yes, we are living life to the fullest here on Bedouin. Everything’s to the fullest at the moment—excitement, danger, and smells—everything except for the bag of excrement, which is slightly less full after the giggles, shouting, and cursing. 


So as not to keep you mired in all the human waste our little crap storm entails, I will rush to the end of this victorious yet putrid story. The part where our war-torn heroes have won the battle over the fecal matter and fixed the toilet which is now better than new.  The couple has resolved their marital issues, and the poop deck, which is NOT supposed to be located on the inside of the boat, is now sparkling clean.  And after they thoroughly wash their hands for like twenty minutes, this couple, celebrating not only their fixed toilet and mended marriage, but also their one year boat-aversary, are about to spot a giant loggerhead turtle.


What a fine way to end a debacle and celebrate a milestone.


Seeing Kefalonia’s famous turtles and re-plumbing a stinky toilet is indeed a paradox of celebrations. And we hate to admit it, but in the end (the very very VERY end) both were quite satisfying. Because one can never underestimate the thrill of a turtle sighting or the joy that comes from a properly working toilet.

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